View Full Version : if y0ur not drunk dont reply
sneakdiss
04-14-2006, 12:46 AM
Boy opiate addiction sure is a bitch...glad I shook that!
thecreeper
04-16-2006, 03:59 AM
i just want to comment that i was pretty drunk tonight, and i saw some xrazy bands, and i sobered up, andi took a really long trip home where i almost fell asleep. and now its 5am. christ on a crutch.
Optimus Funk
05-04-2006, 03:48 PM
Creeper, guess what the hell PennDot totally put back in front of my house?
Well I cant wait for you to answer but it's that damn Bridge out sign, you know the one with the flashing light!. I found the light under my bed the other day, and it brought back such drunken memories, then bam! The ass clowns put a new sign up....It has been there for a few days now. I await your return to my house so we can behead the beast once again.
Sincerely,
Sir Calculus Entropy
P.S. Raublekick you can come and watch out for the cops again, like the pussy you are!(In his defense he was the D.D. and didnt drink near as much as creeper, and myself)
thecreeper
05-04-2006, 05:16 PM
i'll be home for captured by robots. that sign is going down!!!
Optimus Funk
05-05-2006, 12:50 AM
Andrew and I totally got some chickas to come to te show, my skin hurts, I think I have sunburn but fuck that I went running and it was really high heat with high Ozone levels and shit but I went and now I feel bad :( I drank alot and they totally changed the price from 6$ a sparks to $4 dollars a sparks it made a difference to me. I also had some nasty tequilla but hey that it mea, I also had gin, and long island iced teas, and some beers! See you tomorrow CREEEP, speaking of they didnt have Creep by radiohead, I was mad but they had San Fransico Nights by the animals so it made up fior it, WOOOOO night
thecreeper
05-05-2006, 12:58 AM
Andrew and I totally got some chickas to come to te show, my skin hurts, I think I have sunburn but fuck that I went running and it was really high heat with high Ozone levels and shit but I went and now I feel bad :(
oh optimus, your skin is so red and metallic! and you are built like a tractor trailer! take me now!
Optimus Funk
05-05-2006, 01:07 AM
oh optimus, your skin is so red and metallic! and you are built like a tractor trailer! take me now!
That is totally what the chick said, I was like here now? and she was like yes now! I want your 18 cylinders in me!, I was like whatever bitch I am not a slut, I dont roll like that. I maybe an 18 wheeler but I dont give it up to just any turnpike hooker!, wow I dont know what I am talking about zach why did you post and make me post back it just doesnt make sense!, she was hot though!
Optimus Funk
05-06-2006, 02:39 AM
Ok first off I just want to wish everyone a happy cinco de mayo!, I mean it isnt like every year we get to celebrate the mexican victory over the french(my ancestors). I do hope you all got to have a few shots of tequilla, yeager bombs, jack and cokes, miller high lifes, red stripes, and guinessi! I drank far too much for any 160 pound person, but fuck it, I only puked twice and I swallowed andrew(raublekick), and zach(creeper) can attest to that!, I even cleaned up my hand/face and then went back to drinking and then led them around the city for 2+ miles in a huge circle, then ate about 5 pounds of Mcdonalds food which was good, to the pallet but not to my nutrition I cant even spell, I also jumped off a balcony and popped my ballon, I married zach too, that was strange but it was an amazing night see you all again =P SOOON
Optimus Funk
05-06-2006, 02:40 AM
Cup your balls and say GUINESS, it sounds like a good name for your daughter right?!
thecreeper
05-06-2006, 02:48 AM
Ok first off I just want to wish everyone a happy cinco de mayo!, I mean it isnt like every year we get to celebrate the mexican victory over the french(my ancestors). I do hope you all got to have a few shots of tequilla, yeager bombs, jack and cokes, miller high lifes, red stripes, and guinessi! I drank far too much for any 160 pound person, but fuck it, I only puked twice and I swallowed andrew(raublekick), and zach(creeper) can attest to that!, I even cleaned up my hand/face and then went back to drinking and then led them around the city for 2+ miles in a huge circle, then ate about 5 pounds of Mcdonalds food which was good, to the pallet but not to my nutrition I cant even spell, I also jumped off a balcony and popped my ballon, I married zach too, that was strange but it was an amazing night see you all again =P SOOON
you also ran out of the car at the mcdonalds drive thru and pissed in the bushes amidst a lineup of white trash and lower class black people. classy!
great night though. drank a bit, saw captured by robots, married optimus, walked aimlessly through the city, etc. captured by robots played Journey!!
squirrels2nuts
05-06-2006, 07:35 PM
Bud Light
$34.95
Two Free 6oz Steaks
24 bottles of marinating sauce.
thecreeper
05-07-2006, 02:40 AM
six yuenglings.
one large pack of twizzlers.
a half gallon of iced tea.
the cinematic class "The Brain Machine", and it's total lack of tata's, despite being a B-movie from the 70's.
the sci fi original AI Assault
Silent Hill on playstation one.
a qualirty night overall.
you also ran out of the car at the mcdonalds drive thru and pissed in the bushes...
I had a friend who did that and got arrested. Well, he ran out of the car at the mcdonalds drive thru and pissed... on the methodist church, but still, peeing in public = bad idea.
I missed my tequila on cinco de mayo, and got really drunk on champagne with my mom and her fiance and my best friend in Monterey after the sweet ass race we spent the day at. (I was too glad to see my mom to go out and drink 50 cent margaritas at the wharf :()
Jesse
05-10-2006, 11:05 AM
Do these count? I was drunk when they were taken.
Do these count? I was drunk when they were taken.
jesse do you play guitar? for that matter does anyone play the guitar and also play guitar hero? i image it cant be that hard for some one that plays guitar, considering its basically 5 frets and no strings.
Jesse
05-10-2006, 12:17 PM
Dabbled in it before. Never really stuck with it, because every time I dabbled I was borrowing a friends guitar. My dabbling ended when they wanted it back.
Optimus Funk
05-10-2006, 05:46 PM
peeing in public = bad idea
http://www.najical.com/s-o/images/liam_car.jpg
WHATEVER!
Optimus Funk
05-13-2006, 02:17 AM
Ok tonight goes up as one of the great, raub and I then t-bone all randomly decided to come over to my house and we had a bonfire and drank a couple bottles of yellow tail(austrailian wine) I had the shiraz, and raublekick had the chardoney(whatever I am trashed). Well it started out sucky cause I wanted to uy an original playstation game so we went to the mall and no luck it was too old of a system but I dont like to play games so I dont have anything current. We then went to arby where we fucking switched lines three times before getting served I want andrew to explain cause I cant, and they gave me mustard on my chicken sandwich the only thing I didnt fucking want was mustard and they put it on, I wasnt a dick, I wasnt an ass is it too much to ask for them to hold some sauce!?!?!? god damn retards.....sorry. so then we started the fire had some peopel over played guitar drank wine listen to buffet bowie, dylan, then went to find out why my bridge near my house was out of commision, I was the only one to walk across it, bitches. then we found a Gib Armstrong(a anti-liberal education)P.A. representative and we totaslly burnt his sign! it was awesom then I kicked andrews ass in some sword fighting!, All in all an amazing night andrew please post more I have to sleep cause I work when ever I get up tomorrow moring....GGGGmnoight!
raublekick
05-13-2006, 10:47 AM
jesse do you play guitar? for that matter does anyone play the guitar and also play guitar hero? i image it cant be that hard for some one that plays guitar, considering its basically 5 frets and no strings.
i've been playing guitar for about a decade now. guitar hero is only easier in the sense that i can move my fingers better than most. but my guitar player intuition gets in the way, because guitar hero notes are not at all what playing the real songs is like. plus you gotta be wicked accurate and can't make little mistakes that noone one would notice on a real guitar, cus in guitar hero it goes PLONK and you lose your multiplyer.
all in all, i'd say that, at least to some extent, i could play about half of those songs on real guitar before i ever played guitar hero, and guitar hero is harder for me.
I just ate red meat for the first time in months, and Im not sure if my stomach ache is from that or my bottle of chardonnaaaaay...
Optimus Funk
05-19-2006, 12:22 AM
I just ate red meat for the first time in months, and Im not sure if my stomach ache is from that or my bottle of chardonnaaaaay...
You totally get atleast 2.5 man pints for eating red meat, and did you solely drink that bottle of chardonnaaaaay? cause if you did then that is another 1.5 man points.
Oh and after we burnt Gib armostrongs sign guess who totally lost his primary election(?) Gibby did, incumbent be damned!
I drank alot tonight and andrew can agree...Chunnels R Us, "we build chunnels so you dont have to!" what a great motto!
raublekick
05-19-2006, 09:02 AM
You should start a company called Drunkards R Us ("We drink a lot so you don't have to!")
You totally get atleast 2.5 man pints for eating red meat, and did you solely drink that bottle of chardonnaaaaay? cause if you did then that is another 1.5 man points.
Why would I get man points for chardonnay? I know it's a lot to drink a whole bottle...but...its chardonnay...
thecreeper
05-19-2006, 11:43 AM
Because ol' optimus is totally a girly-man. Mr. Garnier Fructis himself.
he gives out girly-man points. which is like half-man points.
Optimus Funk
05-19-2006, 12:47 PM
Creeper I am thinking of driving up to ESU just to headbutt you
thecreeper
05-19-2006, 12:54 PM
i would imagine so, but just like a woman, you would be all indecisive about it, and then decide to come way too late, then get lost and have to ask me for directions, then you would get here and give me some little girly headbutt and then want to talk about feelings and stuff. typical.
Stormy
05-19-2006, 12:59 PM
I just ate red meat for the first time in months, and Im not sure if my stomach ache is from that or my bottle of chardonnaaaaay...
It's from your rebelling from the dying traditions of drinking only red wines with red meats.
I commend you! How was it?
raublekick
05-19-2006, 02:06 PM
i would imagine so, but just like a woman, you would be all indecisive about it, and then decide to come way too late, then get lost and have to ask me for directions, then you would get here and give me some little girly headbutt and then want to talk about feelings and stuff. typical.
if there is one thing that he doesn't do girly, it's headbutts. trust me, you don't want to be on the receiving end of a furious blow to the back of the head.
::rubs head from last time i got headbutted::
thecreeper
05-19-2006, 03:01 PM
without his alcohol, his headbutts are powerless!
raublekick
05-19-2006, 03:19 PM
without his alcohol, his headbutts are powerless!
ok, like, when is that ever going to be an issue, really?
Optimus Funk
05-20-2006, 03:00 AM
Ok I have a few things to say to you, first off Liss, I gave you man points out of pure friendship and kindness I know you are not a man and thus you have no need or want of man point but I gave them cause you do deserve them partly for what stormy said white wines and red meats dont mix that was the .5 point, and the 1 point for drinking an entire bottle of wine regardless of type, looking at the type of wine and making a point system based off of that is girlish, ZACH and LISS!. I am a certified man point giver when given you dont ask why or disagree god dammit you just accept and say thank you Hohman, THANK YOU!, and I just drank a bottle of charrrrdonaaay tonight, and some drambuie(scottish whiskey and honey w/herbs) man points abound!
Well, then... thank you.
And I mixed my white with red meat because I was too lazy to go to the store, and it was good, so take that!
thecreeper
05-21-2006, 09:26 PM
there should really be a testtube drunk dialing phone list. i mean, come on. who doesn't want to hear from me and optimus at inopportune times in the evening?
Marshall
05-22-2006, 12:53 AM
you know... I posted my phone number once and no one called it.
thecreeper
05-22-2006, 01:13 PM
well it's because no one likes you.
Optimus Funk
05-22-2006, 01:29 PM
<----555-3049 (tee hee hee! :))
Marshall
05-22-2006, 02:46 PM
:(
I like you Marshall. And I hope to see you this summer.
Stormy
05-23-2006, 01:04 AM
Posting because I'm drunk!
johnny
05-23-2006, 06:14 AM
that doesn't read like a drunken post.
teensupernothing
05-23-2006, 06:45 AM
you don't read like a drunken post!
Stormy
05-23-2006, 01:04 PM
I type efficiently while under the influence.
Marshall
05-23-2006, 04:24 PM
I like you Marshall. And I hope to see you this summer.
oh of course!
thecreeper
05-24-2006, 08:30 AM
I type efficiently while under the influence.
efficiently? perhaps precisely? rigorously? unerring?
Optimus Funk
05-26-2006, 01:14 AM
Posting because I'm drunk!
I think we as drunk posters(most us are that and more), deserve more then just a little shit stain in the underwear that is your post, we want to know what was consumed, what your thinking about, your three favorite songs heard that evening if you think you gained any cavities during your drinking time and which teeth i.e. upper left 1st bicuspid, and if you had any you know encounters...., Ill give you an example this evening for me...
I drank...
Guiness
Molson
High Life
Molson
Molson
Sparks
Hoegaarden
Shot of tequilla
Shot of something carmel tasting
Molson
Gin(Blue Sapphire) and tonic
Coke straight up!
I was thinking mostly about a strange dream I had about singing Starship's "We built this city" with my friends at the bar, about the piston and miami game that was on, and about texas hold'em and blowing off my one friend's house poker tourney.
Three fav songs heard that evening...
R.E.M. "Oddfellows Local 151"
The Roots "Seed 2.0"
Queens of the Stone Age "Witch Hunter"
Look mom no cavities!
A few encounters only one worth mentioning getting into an arguement with the female bartender over the pistons and miami game niether of use cared about the game, but I acted like I did and she accused me of saying All women dont care and shouldnt care about sports they dont understand like basketball, I never said such a thing....bitch ;)
and ontop of that all I defer you to beeferoni!
Mr Biglesworth
05-26-2006, 03:04 AM
yeah fuck you and your details, i'm drunk
Marshall
05-26-2006, 03:08 AM
I DEMAND WOMEN
squirrels2nuts
05-26-2006, 03:53 PM
40oz of 40 creeeeek
rated #1.
fuck, when's my
pete's uh...gun! be done...?
Stormy
05-26-2006, 06:35 PM
I think we as drunk posters(most us are that and more), deserve more then just a little shit stain in the underwear that is your post, we want to know what was consumed, what your thinking about, your three favorite songs heard that evening if you think you gained any cavities during your drinking time and which teeth i.e. upper left 1st bicuspid, and if you had any you know encounters...., Ill give you an example this evening for me...
&
yeah fuck you and your details, i'm drunk
Optimus Funk
05-26-2006, 07:57 PM
Fuck me all you want, but how much less interesting would it be with only variations of "I'm drunk" posted 300 times
Stormy
05-26-2006, 11:13 PM
How many times have I posted in here while drunk? It's an event enough for me if I even stumble onto a computer while or after I'm drinking!
Mr Biglesworth
05-27-2006, 02:00 AM
yeah you fucks i'm drunk
Optimus Funk
05-27-2006, 02:12 AM
I dont know, but that is regardless I am just glad we(all the testies) are heated over this! I mean anything that draws more posts per day per person I am happy for =) so I have two responses for you one truthful the other to keep the fires of rage burning....
(truth) I really dont care about what you post while drunk, I was drunk as I was posting my shit hole of a response to you. Ignore it if you want or banter along as we have been, its all fun and games. Ask yourself one question who am I?, and I mean me not you, you dont know me I dont knnow you so there nothing can be personal even if we want it to be. I am happy you post anything while drunk, If I wore a hat it would be off to you, madam moderator.
I was going to write something else but I dont have the time I have to work tomorrow morning and I drank more then I should have and stayed up later, damn me and my hosting resposibilites even if that means drinking more then the guests, and staying up later. Bushido and beer night went splendidly, rauble got all in a panty grabbing hissy fit about playing the same game for so long, so we switched out for street fighter puzlle something I dont know 2, but I beat him. In a close match no less, but I beat him! Creeper is still up at school I asume we miss you :(. Great night great beers all tpe of beer consumed include....
Victory Hop Devil
Victory Prima
Samuel Adams Summer Ale
Fosters
Killians Irish Red
Rolling Rock Greenlight
*amounts consumed not listed
raublekick
05-27-2006, 09:56 AM
Bushido and beer night went splendidly, rauble got all in a panty grabbing hissy fit about playing the same game for so long,
now let's get the story straight, i stated my dislike for playing that game for long periods, and i said i'm fine just not playing it and watching instead. it was you and ben who REPEATEDLY got your panties in a bunch because i didn't want to play.
:)
raublekick
05-28-2006, 12:13 AM
manditory "i had three beers and am way more buzzed than i should be" post
squirrels2nuts
05-28-2006, 12:37 AM
beer goes in here :D
Optimus Funk
05-28-2006, 03:35 AM
Dude tonight was so amazing got a girl's number, got so shitfaced, saw the Lancaster barnstormers kick the Long island duck, gay name if you ask me, in the anal hole! I am so drunk it is 4 something in the morn I have to work in like 5 hours and I drank...
Spaten
Yueling
Hop Hog
Molson
(threw up)
Sparks
hoegarrden
gin and somthing
tequilla
crown royal
jagermiester
jager agian
hoegarrden
I really lost track I bought some girls something drank more got a number drank more then went to the eaffle house and chugged a bottle of syrup and then ran an eithghtht og a mile to the nearest wawa to get cah out cause thouse fuckers dont except credit, all it all last night was 55 dollars, tonight was 60 dollars so children thats 115 dolllars...... god I need to stop who wants to go out tomorrow for the poker tourney at gales, and by go out I mean take me to pick up two six pack and watch me drink them until I get out of poker....
1 takers anyone>?!?!?
Artmead
05-28-2006, 05:52 AM
I wish I were watching Optimus drink... god damn, maryland is so goddamn boring.
Optimus Funk
05-28-2006, 08:09 AM
You must come back to us arthur, come back to us and I think I should be at work right now, Girl dont tell me your right! I dont know where my car is though and judging from all the shit in my pocket I spent alot more then I posted earlier. I do have a coupon for a free frosty in there though.
Edit: I totally headbutted gabe and then he tried to headbutt me but right as he went in I did a quick little jab with my head, and then he stumbled over to me about 5 mins later and said I quote "Ow man that last one really hurt...." =)
Arthur we do miss you much, how are you going to get your father's day card from us if you arent up here? Even if the state took your kids away from you, your still a dad, they cant take that away!
teensupernothing
05-29-2006, 12:22 PM
spent last night watching my boyfriend and his best friends getting trashed, then being their designated driver all night.. actually ended out having more fun than i would have if i had been drinking.
Stormy
05-29-2006, 04:15 PM
Mmm, mint juleps...
raublekick
05-29-2006, 06:26 PM
i'm sober now, and i don't feel like getting drunk again :(
Mr Biglesworth
05-29-2006, 09:31 PM
just take it easy, eat some bread and drink some milk and the feeling will pass.
Mmm, mint juleps...
Speaking of mint, I made mojitos the other night. My friend and I drank rum all night, slept four hours, got up, and drove to San Francisco. Happy Memorial Day Weekend. Oh, how I wish it were still Monday! It is Tuesday and I am back to school.
Stormy
05-30-2006, 05:31 PM
Speaking of mint, I made mojitos the other night. My friend and I drank rum all night, slept four hours, got up, and drove to San Francisco. Happy Memorial Day Weekend. Oh, how I wish it were still Monday! It is Tuesday and I am back to school.
Rachael Ray made mashed sweet potatos with those today. The drink sound delicious.
That girl can do anything, and doesn't she have SUCH an imagination?!
Stormy
05-31-2006, 05:46 PM
That girl can do anything, and doesn't she have SUCH an imagination?!
Yes. Plus I am in love with her.
Marshall
06-01-2006, 01:18 AM
E.V.O.O. 4 LYFE
Yes. Plus I am in love with her.
I'm in love with KT Tunstall.
Stormy
06-01-2006, 04:33 PM
I'm in love with KT Tunstall.
Google image search tells me she's adorable. Good choice.
Metallistar
06-02-2006, 05:28 PM
Party at my house tonight, should be drunker then hell, everyone is welcome to come. Cid, you live pretty close, get your ass up here.
squirrels2nuts
06-03-2006, 01:25 AM
mmm... i scold too ate of Bud
thecreeper
06-03-2006, 03:26 AM
i was decently drunk tonight....not quite as drunk as optimus though. wonder if he will be pissed when he finds out i poured his gatorade/vodka mix into the gutter....
raublekick
06-03-2006, 12:31 PM
i was decently drunk tonight....not quite as drunk as optimus though. wonder if he will be pissed when he finds out i poured his gatorade/vodka mix into the gutter....
seriously man, thank you so much for taking charge with that. sorry optimus, but my better judgement told me that you shouldn't be openly bringing vodka into a bar (and walking around the street with it) at 1:30AM when you are obviously already trashed.
johnny
06-03-2006, 12:57 PM
wow you guys are no fun. how does optimus put up with such nonsense???
squirrels2nuts
06-03-2006, 05:42 PM
Google image search tells me she's adorable. Good choice.
i duno who that is, but she kinda looks like a girl I'm seeing, Melissa.
fuck i need more ice in my cooler. oh, and beer too. fuck. beer just makes ya thirstier for more and everyone wants to trade warm beers for my icy brews and opi'udgnklxcfbhkl'xdgOdxc ,k2mi83e971dc4rF!#$Q
raublekick
06-03-2006, 07:12 PM
i just had a glass of wine with dinner and i'm not somewhat in the mood to drink more, but i only have $14 dollars and i don't really feel like going to the bar :\
Optimus Funk
06-05-2006, 02:05 PM
As you can tell I never made it here to post, I am sure I passed out as soon as I fumbled my way up the stairs. I dont really know how I got to my bed, but that night kicked ass though!
wow you guys are no fun. how does optimus put up with such nonsense???
I know I dont know why I put up with those "friends" ;) They do drive my drunk ass around everywhere though.
i was decently drunk tonight....not anywhere fucking close as drunk as optimus though! wonder if he will be pissed when he finds out i poured his gatorade/vodka mix into the gutter....
I was still well enough to know you took it outside to dump it, I should have tried to hide it from you instead of broadcasting "free vodka shots!". Atleast the gutter drank well that night =) You did trick me with that between the legs stunt.
Oh and fuck Mrs. Pacman!
raublekick
06-05-2006, 02:19 PM
it's Ms. Pacman
Optimus Funk
06-05-2006, 03:28 PM
it's Ms. Pacman
Well then damn her to hell because she is having sex outside of wedlock!, and I just play the games rauble I dont make them like you!
Amelia, I was in a place in Malibu the other night, that is, apparently, Rachael Ray's pick for "Forty Dollars a Day" by Food Network. There was a big picture of her with her coffee cup, and I thought of you.
Metallistar
06-10-2006, 12:53 AM
<--- Drunk!
Optimus Funk
06-10-2006, 02:23 AM
Amelia, I was in a place in Malibu the other night, that is, apparently, Rachael Ray's pick for "Forty Dollars a Day" by Food Network. There was a big picture of her with her coffee cup, and I thought of you.
RACHAEL RAY GAY SEX I WANT A FRONT ROW SEAT ,ND I WANT A 40 MINUTE GODDAMNM MEAL
testtubebaby
06-10-2006, 08:28 AM
i was decently drunk tonight....not quite as drunk as optimus though. wonder if he will be pissed when he finds out i poured his gatorade/vodka mix into the gutter....
holy shit! i drank a gatorade-vodka-ginger ale mix last night.... got pretty royally fucked up. forgot to post while doing it, though, alas.
raublekick
06-10-2006, 12:51 PM
I WISH JEP WAS AROUND. woops, still caps.
Optimus Funk
06-11-2006, 02:51 AM
Ok so at last call I totally sneaked in two last calls a shot of jameson, and then a pint of Kanerziger WieBbier or whatever it was called, I had a great night andrew didnt make it cause he had to sleep off the winefire party, god it is late! I want to say so much more like how we irish pub crawled had horrid partking and I pissed on a bank! wooties!!!!!!!
testtubebaby
06-13-2006, 10:30 PM
drunk! goddamn the heat fucking suck...
lovely! a week on lake havasu, sunsun sun, and lots of coldbeers.
Optimus Funk
06-20-2006, 10:23 PM
Man I really could go for a Mojito right now, bring on the summer!
thecreeper
06-20-2006, 10:34 PM
liss better get those drunken phone calls soon and comment on them. i want to know what was said.
raublekick
06-20-2006, 11:36 PM
i'm pretty sure i just said something along the lines of "uh, he liss, this is raub, creeper gave me his phone, sorry to bother you."
Optimus Funk
06-21-2006, 09:35 AM
lovely! a week on lake havasu, sunsun sun, and lots of coldbeers.
Lakes aren't good places to have computers..., or any place with lots of cold beers. So I say you'll have to wait till weeks end, creepa.
i'm pretty sure i just said something along the lines of "uh, he liss, this is raub, creeper gave me his phone, sorry to bother you."
That is indeed what you said, raub, honey. I only listened to the messages this morning while making the last leg of my trip cross country because I was out of service for a long time. And let me tell you, that is something to wake up to at 4 am on old I-20!
1. "I'm not optimus funk. Just optimus. The funk is too FORMAL!"
2. Something from Justin about how July is the month of DANGER because the koala bears invade from Africa and attack. (note: Koala bears do not reside in Africa). (and he sounded WAY fuctup)
3. "Uh, hey Liss, this is raublekick. Um, creeper gave me the phone. Just saying hi. Sorry to bother you." Or something like that.
There's loads more more MORE, but I only got home to Gulf Shores 30 minutes ago, and I'm dying to shave my legs and get drunk. More later, perhaps. I have all the messages saved.
PS. This means drunk-dialing war. Beware, creep, my friend.
thecreeper
06-21-2006, 06:15 PM
raub you are such a pansy.
raublekick
06-21-2006, 09:13 PM
raub you are such a pansy.
sorry man i wasn't drunk and i was kinda trying to get away for a bit.
thecreeper
06-21-2006, 10:23 PM
next time, we're getting you drunk first and YOU'RE initiating the call.
"I realize... this is optimus. No! (screaming) This is seriously optimus. (screaming). I'm just saying, you probably shouldn't ...(end of message)"
"Waasssaaap, it's Justin. Justin talking to Liss, see! (Optimus and Justin conversing) (someone says) We just tore up the zip code sign and threw it across the lawn!!! (conversing) Be careful because July is coming and it's a really dangerous month! I dont think you understand...the koala bears in africa will unite and we WILL become an endangered species because they WILL be attacking the united nations...of...america....uh...welcome to the DANGERZONE!! Bambahmbahmbambahm!!!"
Hi liss, this is raublekick. thecreeper gave me his cellphone and now I am talking on it. i just wanted to say hi. You're a great person. Bye. (in the background: "you're such a puss---)
Ah, it doesn't work. I just can't recreate the effect in writing. I tried.
Optimus Funk
06-22-2006, 10:51 AM
Well now you can't use ignorance as an excuse for when the koalas start a'comming. We warned you, and dont use that "koalas arent from africa" line on me, we've all heard that a hundred times that is what they want you to think. So when they start pouring in from africa, we are all caught with our heads in the sand.
No one suspects the african koala!, Liss, no one.
Marshall
06-22-2006, 11:47 PM
im going to be trashed tomorrow night.
6784784188
I expect Drunk Vs Drunk phone calls.
or i could call you guys. I need numbers to call.
Optimus Funk
06-24-2006, 01:42 AM
I should call you but I am way wasted, I jsut went into a condemmed building in lancaster you now the old watt and shands building dudes, and I totally stoled a liscense plate from the building that I found it was last inspected '88. numbers are 981-56E, awesome maybe not but crazy time dodging some god damn budget rate security dude, priceless!!!!, I gotta do that again.
Holy shit im drunk. So heres the thing. I almost called zach just now for revenge, but then i relazed its 4 am and got really upset that my night went by so fast by way of bar visits, drinking games, and conversational swigs. I started drinking at 130 pm and havent stopped until now---its 405 and i am a light weight and i just sat on the hood of a car that turned the ass of my pants black. And I got bit by many mosquitoes. And i didnt smoke a single ciggie so im damn proud.
raublekick
06-25-2006, 01:01 AM
liss, i apologize.
no wait, that's what a fool believes.
i'm takin' it to te streets
Optimus Funk
06-25-2006, 01:34 AM
Wozers!!!!! I wish the encylopeida covered me and all the shit I did tonight, man so much whiskey, so much vodka, so much rock and rye you know you liked it bitches!!!!!, Liss I tried to piss your picture onto someones house but I think I drank too much, eveveryone else I am sorry for talking to you for some crazy amount of time, but I did win at darts!!!! I did fair and square, UTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! only andrew know of the governing man of the south mall called UTH! oh yeah I had like three shots of yeager, or what ever!
Optimus Funk
06-25-2006, 01:35 AM
Beer! too!!!awe
thecreeper
06-25-2006, 01:46 AM
and yeah. good night. i think we called the entire testtube phone list.
Optimus Funk
06-25-2006, 01:51 AM
Eat horse shit!
thecreeper
06-25-2006, 01:59 AM
hey fuck you man. at least i know where to go in case of zombie attack.
goddammit i answered your calls and i called you and im so hurting and want to die and i encouraged the sexual harradment scene that was going on with my manager from work and at the moment im glad bbut i wont be tomorrow and im not sure ive ever uhad the hiccups this bad and im so drunk drunk drunk. and i played volleyball today and cooked food and i love ttt. yay
Optimus Funk
06-25-2006, 08:39 AM
Like drunk hiccups, from old timey cartoons? Cause thats just funny
thecreeper
06-25-2006, 11:06 AM
Like drunk hiccups, from old timey cartoons? Cause thats just funny
no, that's me, remember?
liss and marshall and justin, it was nice talking at all of you.
raub is totally going to get that TTT orgy.
HUNG THE FUCK OVER HUUUURRRRTT
johnny
06-25-2006, 04:09 PM
fucking portugual
raublekick
06-26-2006, 01:37 AM
i woke up shitty and managed to get over it in about 2 hours, thank god.
went to an applebee's after work with the other managers and got kicked out, then went to a local diner and got kicked out of there...
squirrels2nuts
06-28-2006, 11:11 PM
fucking portugual
haha my good friend Couto (aka Cooter) is Portuguese... should be a good game on saturday... to yell at cooter fer bein brown!
oh ya, some komoka boys went to the alibi. kinda sucked. shoulda went to the oar house which is more like a whore house on wacky wednesdays, wghen the waitresses dress up like cops n shit... drank 3 pitchers of export (fuckin molson bars) and i had all you can eat pasta n garlic bread.... oh and i shaved my head into a mohawk so everyone laughs at me. but i'll show them... ill show them all!
Mr Biglesworth
06-29-2006, 11:24 PM
I was at the alibi last week. Had a pitcher of rickard's red. Nothin special about it.
thecreeper
06-30-2006, 12:20 AM
and you guys havent hooked up how???
Optimus Funk
06-30-2006, 01:52 AM
Fate obviously didnt shine down on thier coupling!, My coupling with Fate is going quite well though, Fate is my bitch incase you had any questions zach why did you think you had to dump my pale ale?
thecreeper
06-30-2006, 07:09 PM
because that pale ale was fucking skanked MONTHS ago. and it was open from MONTHS ago. it smelled like shit and you were making the "oh god i'm gonna dry heave if i drink this but i can't stop" face.
that's why i poured it out.
raublekick
06-30-2006, 07:11 PM
but there was less than a sip left in it...
Optimus Funk
06-30-2006, 07:19 PM
yeah I already drank most of it, I was working it, just like your mom ;)
thecreeper
06-30-2006, 07:34 PM
but there was less than a sip left in it...
there really wasnt. i poured out about a quarter of the bottle.
...fine. you know what? next time you just drink that godawful shit and feel sick all night. i try to do something nice and it's bitchbitchbitch
johnny
07-01-2006, 12:35 AM
\s zach why did you think you had to dump my pale ale?
that zach guy must be a jerk
i drank some ipa tonight. charles wells ipa to bexeact
thecreeper
07-01-2006, 01:12 AM
went out drinking with friend. drank a lot of lancaster brewing co. strawberry wheat. it was good.
raublekick
07-01-2006, 01:41 AM
i think Bully Hill Le Goat is my new favorite wine. i have cake all over my shirt.
thecreeper
07-01-2006, 01:51 AM
i think i am going to be drunk all this weekend. now to play cacklevania
johnny
07-01-2006, 09:05 AM
i think i am going to be drunk all this weekend.
celebrate canada day
testtubebaby
07-01-2006, 09:31 AM
celebrate canada day
wtf? is that some sort of crazy moon holiday?!
thecreeper
07-01-2006, 10:48 AM
i think it's one of those pagan holidays, like easter, and flag day.
wtf? is that some sort of crazy moon holiday?!
BLUE moon.
Marshall
07-02-2006, 01:12 AM
I ammmmm always "just a friend" but damn do they talk me up as a friend. Im like the best friend anyone can ever have. But Im not datable. no. Friend.
Marshall, youre really funny. I like your hair and you give great advice. I'm drunk.
Marshall
07-02-2006, 01:24 AM
i hate you too
raublekick
07-02-2006, 02:09 AM
I ammmmm always "just a friend" but damn do they talk me up as a friend. Im like the best friend anyone can ever have. But Im not datable. no. Friend.
dude, i feel you. i'm in the same boat.
i hate you too
well, i love you. if it helps, my sister in law and i polished off a bottle of absolut just now and i threw myself at the next door neighbor and he said, quote, "I am too scared of you to make out with you. you frustrate and intimidate me." tell me, marshall, wtf does that mean? not cool! and now i must work in three hours and it is not happy. fuck people and their pansy assed personalities. why are guys weird?
ps. i make myself out to be a slut but im a pansy too and dont sleep with anyone ever. but he still said that.
Marshall
07-02-2006, 07:38 AM
Do you ever do that while sober? Cause if you dont, he really likes you and you should try it while not drunk :P Hes obviously a stand up guy if hes not even going to make out with the drunk girl he really likes.
yes he really likes me and no i don't do it sober. hush. what happened to make you so blue ?
i have to be at work in an hour and i still cant stand up straight. too. much. vodka.
thecreeper
07-02-2006, 11:20 AM
so yeah. last was pretty good. i slept on a hammock.
...after passing out for like three hours. sorry to all the people whose phone calls i missed.
Optimus Funk
07-02-2006, 04:50 PM
My knee is so fucking bashed to hell, damn drunk night frisbee. Oh and zach that wasnt a cherry smashed on my leg it was blood. I need to pass out I dont think I have drank that much in a very long time. Fuck. Clothes. Peace. One of the best nights ever. Norah Jones take me away from all the pain.
GT2000
07-02-2006, 05:46 PM
Wow, usually the grey area is like..in between..so-so..not the "I FUCKING HATE YOU" that the image depicts...heh.
Optimus Funk
07-04-2006, 01:15 AM
Your shitty music makes me barf, LOGGINS!
Optimus Funk
07-05-2006, 06:32 PM
Knee wound update....
Went to the doctor's office, then was asked how I got the wound..."I wish I remember, I was quite intoxicated at the time", got my knee wrapped, given some perscription antibiotics with protest from me, It smells like pizza, looks wicked nasty, I shaved off my gross scab right after taking off the bandaging, then burnt myself with peroxide for an hour looks okish, smells less like pizza, bleeds only alittle bit now...I miss running :(
thecreeper
07-05-2006, 10:10 PM
at least you went to the doctor...i thought that your damn leg was gonna fall off.
in fact, it kinda looked like that picture marshall posted at the top of the page. gross.
squirrels2nuts
07-05-2006, 10:39 PM
ya it was my buddy Darren's birthday tonight
a couple of weeks ago, he was racing some other friends of mine home from a bar, and then a cop turned around and chased him cause he went through a stop sign on Southdale Rd.
now this road is CRAZY. it has humps like a fuckin camel. it's called roller coaster road cause you can get air on both hills and then a fucking S-curve after that.
Darren was going so fuckin fast, i forget how much but 100km/h around a fuckin sharp curve, his car jumped the curve or something... somehow managed to get out of the S-curve and floor it down Westdel Bourne and couldn't slow down for the next road, Oxford.
so he JUMPS the fuckin intersection, (usually so busy cause it's Oxford, the main road in London) and into a new subdivision theyre building, hits a curb and ends up in someones yard.
there's nobody that lives there, so a car being there is odd, but after running around freaking out they got back in the car and eventually got surrounded by cops.
Darren got his head smashed to the ground a couple of times from car window height. LeAnne, who was in shotgun was just laughing the entire time she was being interrogated, was talking on her cell phone about the stupid cops and shit while my friend Sawyer is telling he rto shutup and shit.
ya, so he got DUI, running stops signs, and evading police. maybe more, i duno.
but he sure as fuck can't go out for his birthday, drive, or be anywhere, especially licensed but his property after 9pm.
but ya, his place is awesome, his folks own a defunkt gravel pit that's awesome for fishing and camping and shit like that. you'll catch pike and bass and a bunch of shit...
when you're in Komoka and you've got a drinkin' quota...
ya'rll sluts!
Mr Biglesworth
07-05-2006, 11:28 PM
one of your friends is going to kill me while i'm out on my bike
squirrels2nuts
07-06-2006, 03:58 PM
one of your friends is going to kill me while i'm out on my bike
make sure you wear a helmet! ahahahhaha
ps i love drunk driving too.
johnny
07-06-2006, 08:10 PM
yer friend is an idiot
squirrels2nuts
07-06-2006, 08:22 PM
no doubt. he shoulda went left down oxford and then left onto the next road and floored it, or hid in a driveway of a house that wasnt under construction.
Mr Biglesworth
07-07-2006, 04:55 PM
you love drunk driving
johnny
07-07-2006, 06:32 PM
make sure you wear a helmet! ahahahhaha
ps i love drunk driving too.
i'm sure i already know the answer to this, but.. has anybody ever told you that you're a fucking idiot before?
Optimus Funk
07-15-2006, 02:24 AM
My head tells me to do to the bathroom but my bladder say I can hold it in, should I risk it? you be the judge! fuck I have to go. yeah and german 7 century old beer sucks ass!!!!!!!!! I hate you Lienevievfiefbeiubfatfrauenkieter whatever the name was zach do you know? yueling is better/
Marshall
07-20-2006, 01:07 AM
who the fuck..?
Also, going to St. Louis this weekend. If anyone wants to come party in a hotel room with a bunch of nerds, feel free.
thecreeper
07-20-2006, 06:47 PM
yeah...seriously. i expect explanations!
Stormy
07-20-2006, 09:56 PM
that was the longest gin and tonic of my life
squirrels2nuts
07-20-2006, 10:58 PM
i saw peter frampton tonight!
do you feeeeeel like we do?
oh and also, loverboy and eddie money.
everybody's jerkin on the weekend...
two tickets to paradise...
huh? (http://www.rockthepark.ca)
that was the longest gin and tonic of my life
vodka and soda. I cant get past this absolut phase. And it is slowly destroying my brain.
Optimus Funk
07-23-2006, 03:47 AM
vodka sucks, who wants some god damn well filtered liqour!, corn mash moonshine is the shit! you fuckers!, EAT MY SHIT
testtubebaby
07-29-2006, 12:58 PM
drunk!!!!!!!!! korea = $130 for a bottle of absolute... good thing i wasn't paying.
Sapphire and Tonic... extra lime...... god... I drink way to many of these.
GT2000
07-31-2006, 06:28 PM
drunk!!!!!!!!! korea = $130 for a bottle of absolute... good thing i wasn't paying.
...You're kidding right?
I got 4 .5 liter bottles of GOOD vodka for like..a total of 880 rubles...
Optimus Funk
08-01-2006, 01:49 AM
rubles, I want rubies, RUBIES!, cause they are worth more, and I assume smell more like strawberries! WITH CREAMER!
Optimus Funk
08-01-2006, 01:50 AM
also I want a dark haired russian female and vodka......still waiting. It is only tuesday and I am trashed
Optimus Funk
08-01-2006, 01:57 AM
Sapphire
Bombay Sapphire, my friend if so, you and I have a good chance of being friends until I headbutt your ass to the floor....good gin, though Tom Collins rule over the the gin and soda world!
GT2000
08-01-2006, 04:56 PM
Be lucky you got anything..as in nothing..nothing is still something.
i just called zach at 4 am his time. mwahhaahhaha. i am d----runk. and i just kicked 2 guyss asses twice in a row at video bowling. who says girls are bad at sports, bitches? and at drinking? huh? and i had a guy at a bar tell me to save my virginity until i met the right man. and i went from one bar where my whole graduating class from high school was partying, or at least a dozen of them, to my locals bar, to the gulf of mexico in my panties. i went swimming, and im even skeered of sharks.
Marshall
08-02-2006, 10:39 PM
When I come to mobile, we are hanging out.
Optimus Funk
08-03-2006, 12:27 AM
I want to hang, I am so drunk I called liss with xzahcs phone but he called dumbly I mean I dnt nkoe I had so mch wine tomorrow II be better! adn call you all Marshalll how was the game we talked about now kidding where is my chainsaw?
yea, sorry I couldn't talk when you called. I had to be at work at 11 pm for a deep clean behind the bars that lasted until 3:30 am. Now it is 9:00 am and I am leaving to go back and work!!
Optimus Funk
08-04-2006, 12:44 AM
I have no sympathy cause we all work too during the summer, and how much sun burn do you get working inside!?!?!??!???!?????!? but yeah no worries I was drunk as shit much like now, and I just wanted to run a new insult by you, but some other time, when your more drunk you know...
Optimus Funk
08-04-2006, 02:39 AM
my bladder need emptying!, and Iwant to fight it, demand the most of your body dont fail! cause then your nothing more then a squirl on the branch of life you twat!
johnny
08-04-2006, 06:02 AM
don't let your bladder control your life optimus
raublekick
08-10-2006, 10:36 PM
"man, you were in my bathroom for a while dood, whatchu' been doin' in there...?"
"dude, i didn't want to puke in your bathroom"
"ok...well...i'd rather have you puke in the toilet than on my kitchen floor"
::5 minutes later::
"hrooomph"
"sigh... dude, please try to make it to my bathroom"
"hrooomph"
::splat::
"hroomph"
::stumbles towards the bathroom::
::spllat plat splat spaslttatethwejth::
" :mad: :( :eek: :ninja: "
Optimus Funk
08-11-2006, 07:36 AM
ugh mrofp
Will your bathroom(you) ever forgive me? and I dont remember those events so they might not be entirely accurate, but my shirt smells bad, has stains on it, and I slept in my clothes...so then again it might be very accurate.
I totally drank a good nights worth of liqour and booze in the span of 1:45 mins man Jose Cuervo Black sucks it taste like shit ass whiskey not that whiskey is shit ass, but a "shit ass"(po dunk) whiskey. Oop there throw up on my pants too.
The only thing I like related to Cuervo is 1800.
squirrels2nuts
08-11-2006, 01:13 PM
after work beers taste so good...
Optimus Funk
08-12-2006, 02:32 AM
The only thing I like related to Cuervo is 1800.
Oh my god the Cuervo 1800 margarita, is the best thing in the world! Especially if you get it at El Seranos mmmmmm the best peruvian/mexican cusine in the world.
And andrew my belt, and a black napkin with silverware in it were outside my house in the middle of the driveway...Did I take that from the bar? we werent in the dinning section at all, though. I need to know.
raublekick
08-12-2006, 08:35 AM
yes, yes you did.
Artmead
08-13-2006, 08:50 AM
Optimus stole items from a place of business whilst partaking in certain spirited beverages purchased from said business? I find such a devious undertaking to be quite out of character from such an upstanding young debutante.
Raublekick, You are a perpetuator of lies and all things demonic in their calamitous nature. I shall insist upon a formal written apology for such slander in a public forum, and I will make it my personal crusade to make sure you never find employment in this town again.
Consider this your only warning, next time I will bring along law-enforcement officers of the highest degree to scrupulize your naivity, and as such, your threats will be shown most inefficient and cowardly.
testtubebaby
08-13-2006, 08:52 AM
let's all move to pennsylvania and start a commune.
thecreeper
08-13-2006, 10:50 PM
spent the weekend in north carolina. and it was fucking great.
i was so drunk last night, and i had a crazy conversation with my one college friend (who was really baked) about freedom, making judgments about people, buddhism and christianity, and boobs. it was great. then i met a russian chick who thought i was gay because i was laying on my friend's lap (in a bro-love sort of way) and asked why i didn't just suck his cock and not be afraid to be gay. we all had a good laugh, and then she told us about growing up in russia and how big pink floyd was there in the 80's. and i kissed a dog. and ate so much good food. and went to some awesome cd stores and bought a million cd's. then drank a lot more beer. and ate some awesome southern breakfast. and bought some crazy japanese toys. then liss called me when i was passed out apparently.
i wish i had another lifetime to live there.
testtubebaby
08-13-2006, 11:38 PM
then i met a russian chick who thought i was gay because i was laying on my friend's lap (in a bro-love sort of way) and asked why i didn't just suck his cock and not be afraid to be gay.
http://www.glumbert.com/media/brorape.html
raublekick
08-14-2006, 02:20 AM
i had a crazy conversation with my one college friend (who was really baked) about freedom, making judgments about people, buddhism and christianity, and boobs. it was great.
oh i see how it is. when i talk about that stuff, you just call me lame <_<
thecreeper
08-14-2006, 05:40 PM
yeah because you wouldnt stop rambling about it.
god, we get it, you're different. GET OVER YOURSELF
I went to Atlanta to see my Dave Matthews and spent three days drinking nonstop. And hanging out with my friends. And having sex. I'm back in Alabama for the moment, after saying goodbye to some of the people that mean more than life to me for another schoolyear and goddammit i'm so fucking depressed and destroying a bottle of wine, a bottle of tequila, and a bowl of cake batter, which somehow doesnt seem like a good combination, especially when "So You Think You Can Dance" is added to the mix. Sorry for venting.
PS. Dave Matthews is fucking amazing. That was the best concert ever. And although it was not him I slept with, I would most definitely have his babies.
thecreeper
08-16-2006, 10:04 PM
I went to Atlanta to see my Dave Matthews and spent three days drinking nonstop. And hanging out with my friends. And having sex. I'm back in Alabama for the moment, after saying goodbye to some of the people that mean more than life to me for another schoolyear and goddammit i'm so fucking depressed and destroying a bottle of wine, a bottle of tequila, and a bowl of cake batter, which somehow doesnt seem like a good combination, especially when "So You Think You Can Dance" is added to the mix. Sorry for venting.
PS. Dave Matthews is fucking amazing. That was the best concert ever. And although it was not him I slept with, I would most definitely have his babies.
now that's a weekend of debauchery. i've been pretty depressed too after leaving NC. that was one of the best weekends i've had in awhile.
squirrels2nuts
08-16-2006, 11:00 PM
I went out with Dave Matthews and spent three days drinking and having sex non-stop.
PS. Dave Matthews is fucking amazing. That was the best sex ever. And I would most definitely have his babies.
holy fucking shit!
Optimus Funk
08-17-2006, 06:34 AM
I went to Atlanta to see my Dave Matthews and spent three days drinking nonstop. And hanging out with my friends. And having sex. I'm back in Alabama for the moment, after saying goodbye to some of the people that mean more than life to me for another schoolyear and goddammit i'm so fucking depressed and destroying a bottle of wine, a bottle of tequila, and a bowl of cake batter, which somehow doesnt seem like a good combination, especially when "So You Think You Can Dance" is added to the mix. Sorry for venting.
PS. Dave Matthews is fucking amazing. That was the best concert ever. And although it was not him I slept with, I would most definitely have his babies.
Did they use a rubber?, and What type of cake batter?, this is very important!
testtubebaby
08-17-2006, 07:39 AM
now i can't get fucking liss out of my head...
goddamnit.
oh shut up, i posted it drunk.
thecreeper
08-20-2006, 09:30 PM
actually, optimus was serious.
fine. yes on rubbers, and CHOCOLATE FUDGE cake batter. better?
Optimus Funk
08-21-2006, 05:24 PM
That just saved your life, little missy, so dont get snippy with me. I'm a member of the North American Rubber Users With A Message, Pennsylvania Chapter President!
Also was the batter Duncan Hines, or Betty Crocker? This is even more important then before!
thecreeper
08-22-2006, 07:15 PM
hohman may be a drunk, but he's a safe, practical drunk.
raublekick
08-23-2006, 11:39 AM
hohman may be a drunk, but he's a safe, practical drunk.
hah
hahhaha
bwahahhahahahahhahaah
good one
testtubebaby
08-23-2006, 01:12 PM
drunk in a foreign country, so fuck you! and liss is hot, so she can do who ever or whateber she wants!
thecreeper
08-23-2006, 05:13 PM
hah
hahhaha
bwahahhahahahahhahaah
good one
i know, i had a hard time typing that one out.
drunk in a foreign country, so fuck you! and liss is hot, so she can do who ever or whateber she wants!
By the way, thank you for letting it be known that you were stalking me on myspace. With your dirty comments. Oh, you.
testtubebaby
08-23-2006, 08:28 PM
all other type of comments suck. and i'm hardly stalking... i don't think i've ever stalked anyone
Optimus Funk
08-23-2006, 11:39 PM
i know, i had a hard time typing that one out.
You bastards!, I knew you weren't my friends from the get go! Oh my bottle of bacardi is! Ruckus!
drunk post. i fucking rock at the video bowling game at my local shady ass bar. fuckin right.
testtubebaby
08-24-2006, 12:57 PM
damn.
wow, liss has a crush on me... oh, and drunk. natch.
testtubebaby
08-26-2006, 01:04 PM
and drunk again... apparently i'm still the man.
thecreeper
08-26-2006, 01:26 PM
we'll have to break your two game hitting streak tonight.
johnny
08-26-2006, 01:33 PM
last night i went out for drinks after work with the group of people i work with. it was a good time, but i was (and still am) pretty broke, so i only had a couple beer. also i had to ride my bike home and i might fall over if i'm too drunk.
testtubebaby
08-26-2006, 10:09 PM
i sat in the middle of the street at three am trying to hail a taxi
spoiler alert: i fucking got one... he reversed from half a block away because he thought i was crazy. which i am.
i am drunk and bitter. very bitter.
testtubebaby
08-27-2006, 12:21 AM
i am drunk and bitter. very bitter.
eat more pineapple... it'll fix that in a few days.
johnny
08-27-2006, 08:48 AM
i am drunk and bitter. very bitter.
you're supposed to be drunk and merry. do it right next time!
squirrels2nuts
08-27-2006, 06:49 PM
i drank the beers left over in my cooler last night and went to go fishing like every sunday... BUT somebody stole my pole, so i didnt get a cast in. fuck. pissed.
testtubebaby
08-29-2006, 03:19 PM
godamn i'm drunk... 5:18am korean time... i'm pretty sure that someone is interested....
Optimus Funk
08-31-2006, 11:57 PM
So I just made my fantasy football team, it took like 3 hours drafting and I drank most of the time, I would have forgot about it had my friend not reminded about it. I think I have a great team, and the best part is I picked them while drinking golden monkeys! Go Calculus Entropy!
raublekick
09-01-2006, 12:45 AM
final fantasy football? eeh?
Optimus Funk
09-01-2006, 12:49 AM
ShUT UP, my team is composed up of the best bards, monks, mages, paladins ever, you wanna bring it, oh wait, you didnt register to play!!!!! (you dont need to bring to point I said final fantasy either we all know I dont follow this shit very well, asswad)
whatever, video bowling is the best. i'll say it again. thats right. and yes, i am fucking plastered. PLASTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!
did i spell that right? it looks....off. plastered. hmmmm.
Optimus Funk
09-03-2006, 02:31 AM
VIDEO BOWLING IS FOR CORNDOGGED WOMEN!
I just played 301 and we had to count it ourselves, and all of us were drunk even our DD, so it sucked, and was hard, but we managed I also got paided for getting 2 kegs, and 7 cases of beer for my high school buds, and by paided I mean 94$, so I spent half of that tonight at they bar I would have spent more but the one girl I had a one night stand with was there and she gave me half off my bill ROCK OUT!, I am gonna drink more maybe post more, mostly sleep and pass out HITATIYS
corona light night. drunk and mostly mourning. my last night out before i head back out west. and i got stood up by a boy. but i had fun....
testtubebaby
09-03-2006, 03:02 AM
good golly, you are a lush, liss...
and in no way is that depressing.
i dont drink much while i am in school, usually. its the end of summer, thats my excuse.
colin, i swear, it's my last night of it. absolut night, mind you, and my last of the summer.
Optimus Funk
09-05-2006, 02:25 AM
Why aren't there women that drink as much as me?, and that I would like to date? not that I am ready for a relationship other then random sexships, but I just cant seem to find a sane woman that drink alot, is in control of her life, and loves hohman!, You guys work on that! Tonight I drank way to much, and tried to guilt trip andrew into DDing for me, but no worries I am sorry, and to be honest I didn't try hard, or to to make you feel bad but I did try alittle my apologize!
Optimus Funk
09-05-2006, 02:26 AM
Oh and I should mention I am vain!, but WE DIDNT START FIRE!
ok guys, i am california bound. wish me luck...
thecreeper
09-05-2006, 05:57 PM
Why aren't there women that drink as much as me?, and that I would like to date? not that I am ready for a relationship other then random sexships, but I just cant seem to find a sane woman that drink alot, is in control of her life, and loves hohman!, You guys work on that! Tonight I drank way to much, and tried to guilt trip andrew into DDing for me, but no worries I am sorry, and to be honest I didn't try hard, or to to make you feel bad but I did try alittle my apologize!
im pretty sure if you found a woman that drank as much as you, it would end very, very badly.
Optimus Funk
09-05-2006, 11:56 PM
Ok so I was at the bar tonight, and the bartender chicka was quite attractive and my friend and I were talking about sex and she joined it, then I quickly chugged my beer, red stripe,(I think it was drink #10 or so) and I walked turn around and did one little hack thingie you pa people know what I am talking about *hrumpf!* she then says "That was....nice" I laughed and say I can one up that, and I told her the story of how I was hitting on a chick and puked in my hand, andrew remembers that one!, and she totally sai that was the most disgusting thing she had ever heard!, then I got a yeagerbomb, and *hrumpf!*(again) and I said that one was for her ;). Then we watched Crash, score one for the Hohman, Also has anyone noticed most bartenders dont drink as much as you would think?
Optimus Funk
09-06-2006, 12:08 AM
Totally forgot to mention, last night when I was out for labor day, I out of everyone that went out to the bar got asked " I dont know what you do do, or don't do, but if you need and powder, I got some, you know" The funny thing is my one friend I was out with totally sells anyway, and said I know his shit is completely cut up. Foolish Pusher, Drugs arent for kids! I thought it was funny I wished I was an undercover cop or atleast had a fake badge
squirrels2nuts
09-06-2006, 02:37 AM
mmmushroom tea with gatorade... made an 1/8th fit into a tea bag and got shitty with my gf Dee, drank beer, smoked pot
squirrels2nuts
09-06-2006, 10:26 PM
mmmhigh
got a 24 for the price of 12 from the girl i know from the beer store and got shitty on my last day before school
Lurker II
09-06-2006, 11:38 PM
I'm not drunk.
Also has anyone noticed most bartenders dont drink as much as you would think?
The bartenders I work with drink hella lot. We're not allowed to drink at work so i guess it's a tension release to destroy ourselves when we finish a shift.
Optimus Funk
09-07-2006, 06:43 PM
I could never be a bartender is all I am going to say, I would never want to be one anyway. Any job where they say your not allowed to drink at work is no job for me!, and I guess the reason I dont think bartenders drink is beacuse I normally black out by the time bars close.
Optimus Funk
09-07-2006, 11:11 PM
Ok so pittsburg won(woot!), andrew was going to come over to my house never showed(unwoot), my other friends(standard football crew,+ben,+hess) came and much beer drinking, yelling, swearing and jinks however high they maybe happened!. it was a fun game to watch anyone else watch,play, or care about football non-european sadly :(, if you dont I will definately not post as much about my love of the sport...but worry not I will still post how drunk I get, fuck I am bored goodnight, mi corazon de fuego!
testtubebaby
09-08-2006, 02:43 PM
i just threw up water in an irish bar in korea
i was drunk beofre getting there, and this irish chick made me drink water... should i be concerned?
Optimus Funk
09-08-2006, 05:06 PM
She totally saw you as the only white boy within a few thousand miles, and decided to toatally horse tranquilize your ass, so she could use and abuse you. Your lucky you puked that up, or you would be at the whim of some crazy irish bitch, Shirley Manson style!
my only worry is that you went to an irish bar in korea.
thecreeper
09-09-2006, 10:28 AM
optimus was truly crunked last night. and got my one friend pretty insanely sick too.
i on the other hand, didn't drink anything and enjoyed some pizza at 4am. huzzah!
raublekick
09-09-2006, 11:22 AM
god damn you, optimus! i actually felt pretty great this morning except for a nagging headache. woke up, made some eggs and tea, and now i'm here!
i fell asleep watching antiques road show apparently.
Optimus Funk
09-09-2006, 11:57 AM
Lol, I love making people drink more then they should, it makes me feel like I accomplished something. Oh and I am a drunken Halo god!
johnny
09-09-2006, 12:09 PM
where does all yer booze money come from?? my pockets are almost always empty. but yesterday was payday so i can get liquored tonight.
raublekick
09-09-2006, 12:34 PM
i spent $10 last night, and usually i only drink 2-3 beers if i go out. optimus, on the other hand, likes to buy drinks for people, and spends up to $80 on himself! but, we all live with out parents and there is jack shit to do around here besides drinking and drinking related activities.
thecreeper
09-09-2006, 03:30 PM
dude, seriously, kris was mad trashed last night. borderline sick. his mouth was a geyser of puke on the ride home.
no more giving him secret shots.
raublekick
09-09-2006, 04:01 PM
mmm... puke geysers
Optimus Funk
09-09-2006, 06:01 PM
mmmmm....secret shots, Who would have done something like that?
i'm painkillered up. i just got out of the hospital. i was pretty sure i was dying, because it hurt (hurts) so bad but it turned out to be a severe kidney infection. LET THAT BE A WARNING TO YOU OTHER DRUNKARDS!
Optimus Funk
09-09-2006, 07:16 PM
Ewwww liss stay away from me!, Also get better =)
And if you drove out to cali, with this infection, you totally know what I am going to give you? Ok so you know what fuck it is especially when you say it hurt so back I dont care, you get +11.25 man points accept them, love them, and yeah as I said before get better my one friend, jen got the same thing she was out for awhile in pain and what not, I guess it sucks but dont try to make us second guess our drinking,....bitch?(just seeings how that flies*
Optimus Funk
09-10-2006, 01:28 AM
Ok so as of tonight I have drank 7 days in a row! Partly because I finaly got the last word on getting my new job, witch(yes I love me witches) is paying me quite well, but also cause it is only the first week of school and I did this exact same thing last year, I defer to page 4 of the drunk thread for conformation. Ok so I saw a movie on scifi and by movie I may mean a few movies and I found out most of the women had fake breasts, to all my homies in cell block 6(you guys) is the fake breast ok for you? cause if it is anything more then looking I have to say veto, I love natural, but I want your opinion. and females, mostly only liss, and sometimes the house sitting stormy wench how are your feeling of the implant? Give me your tired, your sick, your answers! Now, for ai am drunk and I am optimus!
Ewwww liss stay away from me!, Also get better =)
And if you drove out to cali, with this infection, you totally know what I am going to give you? Ok so you know what fuck it is especially when you say it hurt so back I dont care, you get +11.25 man points accept them, love them, and yeah as I said before get better my one friend, jen got the same thing she was out for awhile in pain and what not, I guess it sucks but dont try to make us second guess our drinking,....bitch?(just seeings how that flies*
I actually stopped to visit my dad, who is working around Phoenix...so now some strange Arizonian hospital has all my private information, from my last period to my last sexual encounter.
And I was partly kidding about the drinking. I'm sure that's a part of it, seeing how I drank more this summer than most people will in their lives, but they said that it was probably from the job I worked this summer...I would go 8-10 hours without weewee breaks and apparently, that can cause serious issues. Lesson learned. Piss often.
Thanks for the man points. I wonder how many you have awarded me now.
I'm only on percocet, but I feel so weird.
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