I dont think that you can blame anybody for telling their mom something (this isn't directed at you SuperTeenNothing, but those who think that he's a dousche for telling his mom). Mother's look out for their little boys, and they don't want them to get mixed up into things that they don't need to be involved in. However, I may challenge his character if he always listens to his mother all the time ...
I guess my only advice is that all high school relationships don't work out ... and when they do, one person is swallowing their pride too much, and they're going to end up dying of an anuerysm (sp?) when they're 67. Don't worry about trying to escelate the friendship... if you're chill as friends, be chill as friends. No need to try to make something out of something that some parties may not be interested in.
Or you can just have casual sex.
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Also, tell her that your past is not her problem, and that she's a selfish, dimunitive, judgemental, stuck up bitch for thinking that your the problem. It's HER insecurities. (granted the topic of debate between will have left some scars on you, but that is not the issue) Switch the terms of engagement, make HER the point of your conversation, she wont know what to do.
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I don't know if that's the best idea. Mothers are completely irrational human beings. It's hardcoded into their bios (
mother boards ha ha nerd n3rd!), and calling her out on anything, when she already doesn't really like her, wouldn't do anything to allieviate the situation. It would probably hurt the chances with what's her name & boy and hurt boy & mother's relationship. Plus, the relationship between boy & momma is more important than the relationship between two high-school lovers.
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Originally Posted by SuperTeen
it's just like, jesus, how could you judge someone knowing only that they are 1) a really intense fencer 2) really active in the fencing community, like volunteering and shit and 3) that they were raped, and thus lost their childhood.
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Well ... you probably don't know that much about her and you've passed judgements on her. None of us know anything about this boy and his mother, but we're all making and passing judgements on them. Judgements are always fair, 100% of the time, always, even when they may be wrong. From her perspective, it could make sense. She probably carries a lot of stereotypes (many of which are not wrong) about rape victims... Probably things that she read in Ladies Home Journal and saw on Oprah Whinfrey, that talk about how rape victims have trouble later in life, in relationships, with the other sex, and other such things (I'm just guessing somebody has said something like that before)... And so, she may be under the inclination that she doesn't want her little guy getting involved in something that is too over his head--even if he already is. One of my friends was about to kill himself a couple of years ago, he was older, he was always messed up... And ... one night he was super depressed, on a lot of drugs, and I told him if he needed to talk to me, he could call me whenever ... he called me like 30 seconds later, wicked fucked up (I had never heard him like this) and I just talked some sense into him. This was at like 3:30 am, and my mother heard me talking like "don't do anything stupid" to this guy ... and she was like "I don't like that you're in these kind of relationships"-- and she was right. As much of a friend he was, his personal issues are his, not mine, and she was afraid that I'd take them on myself, make them my responsibility--which I did... and it made me crazy for a while.
So ... she's justified in her worries. You're justified in thinking that she's judging you incorrectly. THe guy is justified in his love for animal pornzors.