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Originally Posted by raublekick
I definately don't want to ask her just for the sake of asking. I can blame my 5 year stint in no-girlfriends-land on my lack of good looks or whatever, but truthfully it has a lot to do with my selectiveness. I don't care about looks so much, but I care about personality a great deal. That's mostly why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. I don't give a shit about getting laid (hey, I'm 20, soon to be 21, and I'm still a virgin! woah!), I'd rather just find a girl who's awesome in general.
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OMG, raub, you rool! just that even dont care about sex, makes you 80x more likly of landing a decent partner.
Hmm... lemmie think here...
I cant say I relate to the no girlfriends thing tho, as I have had a steady stream of partners since I dropped 70 lbs junior year of HS... thats not nessesarily good for me, the dumping in december by dawn was ESPECIALLY painful and STILL is, in fact I was rather emo about it last weekend when I saw her kissing someone else. ( ::force of sorrow punches me in the stomach:: ) Anyway I'm not trying to be shallow... its just... different...
I'd say you're lucky in a lot of ways, unlike me, you're prolly still riddled with innocense about relationships, which (decent) girls might find adorable if you let them see it. that naivete may score you a few points with teh laddyes.
You are intelligent, I mean, you post here, so obviously you're smart. College campus's are absolutly overflowing with douchbags looking to get laid first and have a meaningful relationship about 29743th down the list, the other 29742 entries are all people they want to sleep with. Intelligence is a real turn on in a lot of decent potential partners.
hmm, KNOW YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC. sound advice in any endevour; you're her friend which clues you in to what you two have in common. Bringing these to light and sharing them with her maybe a great way to illicit feelings from her. Talking is great too, lots of talking. Make sure you know her sense of humor well too, telling the wrong joke is likely to ruin the chances for good of going-out-age.
I dont claim to know everything about women (or men, or whatever), but I know what floats my boat, I know how to make my partner feel like the only other person in the world, and (most times) I know my limits and say no to certain things... like a guy named jeff who picks you up in a club late one saturday when you just had the equivilent of 10 drinks in the car and he keeps offering to buy you a drink, but all you wanna do is dance and maybe share cigarette preferences so you end up having to just fake having to throw up and leave... ahem.... Thats when you say no... also, if shes 12, big no no....
You never know tho, raub. Have a party, invite her, and see if she hangs around you all night, thats a good indicator. mmm... this is my turn to be crass tho... I wouldnt suggest the old junior HS method of confessing your feelings to her and asking her out, THAT is what makes the relationship wierd... that might scare her off. mmmm... casually asking her to go to dinner with you on a weekend may be too casual for her, she may think you'd want the relationship to be casual as well.
What ALL of this boils down to is: know whats appropriate, and dont force it, if you know that you two have differing views on where a relationship should go, dont force it, it'll just cause more pain. Just, YOU know her better than I do, so, you'll know what to do when you need to do it.