I have this problem.
image completely irrelevant
Y'see, my heart gets me into trouble sometimes, and that may be a funtion of my inexperience. But heres the situation.
Some time ago, i came to rutgers. And after a smester, i joined a smoking circle and met this girl. now, at the time i was dating another girl, although there were certain instances of... chemistry? i would say.
Now cuz the smoking circle held in my dorm, she moved here this year. She moved in a few days after i did cuz im an administrator of sorts in the dorm. The first night we were here, we all lit up and after two rounds of shotties, we end up kissing.
Since then things have only complicated.
Since then, we have gone through cycles of overt physical attention (making out... a few times) and periods of where we pretty much dont at all act like a couple, except that we're constantly together... as shes been my best friend for a while now.
whats the problem, you ask? well, she's dating someone. has been since after school ended last year.
so what am i asking you guys? um... these cycles, shes pretty much-... no, actually did specify that she wanted to go out and stuff, and outright made out with me in public once or twice.
I suppose i just need advice.
theres been more than one point in these semester where ive sworn off this... well, this affair, but i just cant stop myself, kissing her is a horrible addiction.
we actually had a day after thanksgiving break where we were very frank, and since shes my BFFL, i told her about this other girl, a sister of a friend who was VERY interested, and she asked me what i was gonna do about it, and i said i wouldnt be able to say without knowing how she (bffl) felt about it. She said she didnt like it but couldnt do anything about it, i said, its fine then, i already know what i want... and then she kissed me again... like omg..
so my situation is that: Im in love with my already involved best friend who secretly reciprocates and acts on these feelings.
i need a direction to go in other then writhe and wait for her to break up with him cuz its killing me and i know i could be doing something better than this.
if it helps, shes this super model hot irish girl with red hair, whose a total hippie liberal. (WHY DOES RED HAIR ALWAYS GET ME!)