Preparing for the Zombie Invasion!!
 

You wake up tomorrow. zombies are at the door. you only have what's in your house. you have but minutes to prepare. you close the door and get ready. what do you do? what weapons do you grab!? where will you go that's the safest? the cellar? the old attic? the tool shed? are you prepared for the fight of your life? seriously, this is no joking matter here. you better have a plan.

i thought it was godamn koalas. fuck.

not the first time ive beden asked this and somethign ive been preparing for most of my life. if i woke up and the zombies are there this would imply it was in the afternoon since i sleep during the day. this also means i would have been woken up from some one who saw it on the news. which would mean the zombies havent had a chance to really flood the streets.

since i know the zombies will soon over take the city, i know i need to get into a place where i can lock it down for a while. id grab my remington 11-87, a box of shells, and perhaps more importantly my two handed scotty since blades dont need amo. id grab my gf and get out to the car heading 10 min. south in the more rural monroe county. then go to the most fortified farm start zombie proffing it to the best of my ability and wait it out. using the animals and seeds for food.

that wouldbe the general plan but you didnt clarify if these were running zombies or slow bumbling zombies. wich would effect quite a bit. if they were slowing moving i would have alot of time to fortify my farm since no one lives within a couple miles and zombies dont drive. not to mention the zombies will probably spend a full day and a half just pillaging the city eating people. before they even think about doing anything else. even when most people have been turned there will ll be random peopel still boarded up in there houses the zombies will eat before moving on to try and find the rest of us off in bfe.

Drink then fornicate?

if the zombies were at my door and i had no time to get away, maybe i'd just get it over with and join them?? zombies are okay. maybe they'd be friends with the mummie or a werewolf? that would be alright.

ok, so johnny's dead. as is optimus.

hex, we're looking at some classic romero zombies here. slow and lumbering...but can eventually adapt to their environment. that was some excellent analysis by the way. i knew i could count on you to keep it real when zombies showed up.

personally, if i see zombies at the door, it's into the attic in my garage if there's more than a dozen of them. bringing food and i have a 24 pack of water at home at all times. the attic is a pull down deal and easily retracts.

if i have only a few zombies at the front door, i plan on using one of my dad's large antiques and a shield to get to my car, drive to optimus' house, and hide in his attic. more room there, a few windows, weapons, more security, a winnebago, and overall more options and less to worry about.

weapons of choice: machete from the house, and stealing a shotgun from optimus' safe of weapons.

two words: cricket bat.

hallo americans
this is claus from common denominators
that's the band you are listening to right now
we are from finland
this is our debut album here in america, das grund
this is the dwarf invasion

blah

one two three four
you are not my friend
you are my foe
you are two feet tall
you have got to go

this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
this is dwarf invasion (the dwarf invasion)
this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
this is dwarf invasion (that's the dwarf invasion)

this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion) (dwarf invasion) (dwarf invasion)
shut up dirk

this is not a friend
you are very small
you can barely stand up to me
you can't play basketball

this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
this is dwarf invasion (dwarf invasion)
this is the dwarf invasion (this is dwarf invasion)

thank you very much for having us in your country
we'll see you next year
goodnight

go back to the room
go back

same thing i do when hurricanes are coming to kill me: board the windows, fill 2 coolers with beer, prepare the radio and flashlight, and end up sleeping through the whole thing. Or, as an alternative, boats in the middle of a bay or ocean are quite a good idea.

I'd probably go through my record collection and throw any that I don't want at them. If that fails, I'd probably steal my dickhead room mate's car and drive down to the pub, where I happen to know they keep a shotgun up on the wall behind the bar.

Hopefully my mom doesn't turn into a zombie...

eh heh heh.

good work biting my flava, g

i have an 8" butcher knife beside my bed.
ya know, for just such an occasion.

I try...I really do.

I would first masturbate while I still had 2 arms, a penis, and a heartbeat.

Any decisions after that would have to be on the fly.

Where the hell do you think I was driking, and fornicating?, I am not that stupid I was IN the armored, keycoded, padded safe the enitre time!, With the lovely Miss Optimus by my side, cramped, yes, but enough room for some choice creative positions, and bottles of water, wine, whiskey, drambuie, vodka, gin, and maybe some rum if I toss out a few of the guns, no room for beer sorry.

So can I be alive again...? I drilled a few holes for air, and excretion purposes, before I got trashed.

uh i, i would change my name to shawn, darrr [/retard voice][/subtlety]