Would you...
 

These have been some rather hot discussions among my friends and I for the past couple of weeks.

For an endless amount of money, would you get fucked by a guy with some serious hardware. I'm talking...10 inch RedBull can. If not money, then, how about a time machine?

And would you pay $1,000 to have the ability to have complete control of your farts for the rest of your life? Sound, pitch, duration, smell, everything. It's all yours for $1,000.

My friends and I have spent many nights discussing propositions like this, I need some more input.

Me? Yes to both questions.

No to the first one. Endless money is not worth having a cleft ass for the rest of your life.

Yes to the second one. It would be easy to the money back by just taking requests or betting that you can fart for 24 hours straight.

What about a goddamn time machine though?

*one stipulation I forgot to mention about the time machine. You may not go back in time and change the sodomy. Everything else is free game though.

could you go back in time before the time machine came into existance?

i don't need a time machine. life could always be better or could always be worse, so the best course of action is just to stay put.

I would have to think about the first one as in can I drink all I want beforehand you know till I blackout, so the next day I just bleed from the ass and have tons of money in my bank account. Hell I wouldnt ask any questions I have had worse...

And for the second one, hell yes. Also Fucking hell yes if it was after that one mysterious night when I blanked out, was walking like a penguin for a month, and had shit loads of money ;).

P.S. I would always say no to the time machine I know I would go back in time and just see a bar, pub, and or tavern and say "Cool, they had alcohol back then!", drink metric fuck tons of liqour, then some how headbutt someone important and screw up all of history....So no! Never ever would I want a time machine.

with endless money you could, like, buy a new asshole. i'm sure those plastic surgeons can work wonders!

odds are i'd say no to both.