if y0ur not drunk dont reply
 

give me head..... damn it i just got back form a wedding recptionion and im hammered... so give me head..

umm.. no head for uoi, but i am drunk so here is my replau. actually i'm not reallty that drunk, i', just a lazy typer,

Anyone seen Team America?

::pokes big les in the chest::

yuo nkow, you;re beatiful nam...
you reslly are...

I...
yOu are a sonuva... I lbe you man, ich labia du fer shure...

i just kdding.- i'm bot teh drunkz0r

damn jack daniels to hell, my head is still pounding...

Jep, that was the worst fake drunk post I've ever read in my entire life.

okay, I was drunk, not fucked up tho, and ithought you wouldnt believe me unless i spelled baaaaaad

btw, watermelon vodka and cranberry juice is NOT a good combo...

I'll be sure to get rocked tonight and join in on the fun...

We should have a nice chatroom sessions with us all shitfaced... it would probably last 5 minutes tops.

ending with:

*face on keyboard*


m njkjshdfasdfssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss

Unfortunely I couldn't come here (brother sleeping in room with computer), but its ok. I stayed up late eating tv dinners and watching bad television in a nice drunk and high stupor...

***: MA NIGGA
la malta: yooooooooooo I'm wasted
la malta: what are you doing tomarrow?
la malta: are you doing anythignt omarrow?
***: WORKIN
***: AT 8
***: HEH
***: heh
la malta: oh shit I typed the same shit twice
***: heh
***: im wasted too

typical convo between drunk guys

I'm on another planet

p.s i don'

THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE!

You must mean, African American?

i think i wquklify to post in this topic... crepper can bacjk me up on thios one

he's fucking wasted.

circle of death was the death od evertyone tonihgt.

goddamn me and raub are both dtrashed

fees shorty, fees!

i was drunk last night, so this counts. our friend pissed in a wishing well outside of a hotel, and me and creeper went on an adventure into someone's yard.

we needed to light someone on fire though.

i am breaking the rules of this thread

ban

i remember having the hardest time finding this topic, it was on the second page but i went through every page looking for this damn thing. i nearly posted another drunk topic when i finally found it.

this counts cuz I was drunk last night, i went to a party and there were some 25 year old pink shirt collars up douchebags hanging there being generally stupid. which isnt against the rules, its just due to them, everyone got kicked out. but BEFORE that happened, I went up to the garage for some talkage with a friend, by this time i was properly thrashed with smirnoff ices green apple, goo' stuff. anywho, my friends marilyn and ashley are making out in the corner and being the real lesbians they are. over by the stairs, two straight high school girls are sitting near eachother and everyone is goading them to kiss, i'm drunk but I'm like... wtf.. those two are... >.<

anyway they made out, made a big ruckus, then someone asked me if i was a guy or girl, then my friend kristen got TORE UP and puked out the basement window, then someone decided it was a good idea if i drove them to their house to grab their guitar, not noticing that there were three empty smirnoff bottles next to me, then a REALLY drunk kid got sat up in the corner and started playing with legos. it rooled, kinda.. :P kthxdie brain hurts

3 empty bottles? you pussy...

You must feel so vindicated....

Went canada side friday, bought a 375 of bombay and a 6 of export, my friend a 375 of st remy and everyone else a few cases of beer, poured ice in the hotel tub and got down to business. Stumbled our ass into falls view casino drank a few more beers, hit the strip clubs but all were closing except the massage parlors. Went back to the room and drank till 6, got 4 hours of sleep and woke up with a huge vomit stain next to me on the carpet. Drank the rest of our beers and the last quarter of my bombay, went back to the clubs, had more beers and a lap dance by this stripper who bit my ear sending me through time and space.

Went back over the border still wasted, in town 5 minutes before I had to work 6 hours cooking and closing a kitchen. Afterwords went to my friends and smoked tree, went driving and fucked up a turn, got pulled over and ticketed by this asshole cop. My friend got pulled out of the car to be breathlised but he refused to because he wasn't even driving, and eventually he got charged cause he had a fat bag of weed on him.

Went home something like 3 in the morning again. Fuck the police.

Damn, lucky they didn't give you the possession charge, they like pulling that "your car, your shit" crap.

damn dude, that sucks. although being propelled through time and space by a stripper must have been a trip.

letsee.. last night was my friend's 21st b-day. i was the "photographer" for the evening and had no intention of drinking (much) because i had a tournament today and didn't feel like being all hungover for it. my friends decided... aww hell, he can drink legally now, that's no fun, LETS GET THE MINOR DRUNK! oh my god i have never drank so much in my life. i don't particularly remember what i drank, because, frankly i don't remember much detail from last night... but god did my head hurt something awful. when i got up i remembered that i had to be at a tournament that was 3 hours away from where i was.. and i had to be there in about two hours and 15 minutes. i have never driven so hungover, so fast.... i got to the tournament like three minutes early, and then proved again, that fencers fence better hungover because BOO-YAH, can you say "best overall results" in the country for this season? topped off with 1st today, so hungover i could barely stand. yes. hangovers suck.

well if that's not a good reason to become an alcoholic, i don't know what is!

I'm gonna test the same hypothesis for job interviews tomorow

actually, i was sorta pissed, it was one of those bullshit stupid pink shirt frat boy in training collars up asshole parties and I was trying to look like a guy too. very annoying.

I'm a lightweight, yea, thats a good thing, it means my liver still works and i'm a cheap date.

can we get a video of you punching the shit out of a frat boy sometime? please? that would make my day.

My slip just says improper turn. My friend might get a lawyer and fight his charge, and since it was my car I might get pulled into something.

I drank some beer and rum today and made a delicious teryaki stir fry with my friend kait, it was good times. I'm glad i stil drink now that i've quit smoking pot and cigarettes. gives me something, y'know?

can you say machette wedge and axe? trifecta of bad drunk weaponry! and i cut myself somehow and i rolled around in the greass and i dunnio...

good night, wish i could have been drunk too, but work in another hour kinda stops that from happening.

don't try to body surf when drunk. besides the possibility of drowning, nasty scrapes are pretty much.. innevitable.

look and see.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jorget.../ph//my_photos

that'd be a good friend mine, that i (also at least mildy inebraited) needed to basically save. bad time then, good story now.

hawt

"bad time then, good story now."

Owie. Smilie face is a nice touch.

the even funnier thing is, that he got a tan line from the smiley face. (just showed me like twenty minutes ago.) i somehow escaped all injury and hangoverness. just a tiny little sunburn on my face and a little on my shoulders.

first thing i thought